Should I let my children play rough?
Rough and tumble play is a play that might look like real fighting. When children start pulling or pushing each other, running, chasing, falling, wrestling on top of each other, every parent’s instinct is to say “no”, “stop that”, “don’t do that” to their children.
When we see our children playing rough with siblings or friends, we fear our children might get hurt or even hurt their little siblings or their friends in the process. Hence, our instinct is to stop this play immediately but believe it or not, rough play is natural and it actually benefits children in their development.
What are the benefits of rough and tumble play?
1) Social-Emotional Skills
Through rough and tumble play, they learn social cues from each other through body language and facial expressions. They’d learn if one is uncomfortable and starts to cry, next time they may need to be more gentle or less aggressive or even stop when it gets too much. They also learn to speak up and defend themselves if they feel it’s too much.
This is important social skill kids need to learn for having better relationships with others.
2) Risk-taking
Rough and tumble play is a part of risky play. Risky play is about children testing their own boundaries, whether they are capable or not and rough play helps them to take more risks.
3) Physical Skills
It’s part of their physical development. Physical play is important for stronger muscles, better flexibility, improve gross motor skills and overall healthier development.
How to let children play rough?
As parents, how do you let your children play rough when your instinct tells you to stop them? Try these tips when you see your children start to play rough and want to encourage them in a safe way.
1) Take a deep breath
First, take a deep breath. You need to calm yourself first and reassure yourself that this is okay and it is normal for healthy child development.
2. Situation
Look at the situation. Where are you? Is it safe? Is there enough space for the children? Are you allowed to be loud and boisterous? If the situation allows them to continue roughhousing, then do so. If not, set your boundaries clear to the children.
3. Assess
Assess whether the children are really in rough play or a real fight. See whether the children are happy while playing and not in a hostile situation like shouting and being unhappy or angry. If all is good, then it’s safe to let them continue. It is best to monitor the children carefully without interrupting them unnecessarily for their safety.
4. Role model
It is better if parents especially father role model the right way to play rough. What is the right way? Able to play safely, set and respect each other’s boundaries. Adults can role model this by playing rough play with the child and setting an example of how to set boundaries and how to be gentle.
Now, that you know the benefits of rough and tumble play, next time you see your children start to engage in rough and tumble play, please think twice before you stop your children from roughhousing if the situation permits.
